How to Order a Glass of Whiskey

tl;dr—How to Order a Glass of Whiskey: At the bar or a table, order a glass of whiskey like this: I’d like a whiskey, neat. See below for variations.

How to order a glass of whiskey is a question asked by the great philosophers. Aristotle wrote about it. Plutarch was all tied up in knots about it. Zeno could never get to the end of it. It vexed the greatest, so if it’s vexing you, don’t worry, you’re in good company.

Maybe you think you already know how to order a glass of whiskey.

But do you? Sure, you can order a pickle shot and you’ve leaned across the bar to ask the barkeep all surreptitiously, like it’s a secret, can you make me a three wise men? But what about just, you know, a simple glass of bourbon or rye without turning the bartender into a lifelong enemy? It’s not hard but you should now a couple of things.

There are different ways to order whiskey.

Here’s a list and look, maybe it’s not exhaustive, but we think it’s pretty good.

whiskey neatwhiskey, nothing else.rocks glass
whiskey shotwhiskey, nothing else.shot glass
whiskey neat, with icewhiskey, with minimal ice.rocks glass
whiskey neat, water backwhiskey, nothing else. Cold water served beside it.rocks glasses
Whiskey with a drop of waterwhiskey, with just a single drop of waterrocks glass
Whiskey with waterwhiskey with a splash of waterrocks glass
Whiskey with water on the sideSame as water backrocks glass
Whiskey with ice water on the sideSame as water back, but with icerocks glass
Whiskey, neat, chilledJust whiskey, stirred with ice, then poured nearrocks glass
Whiskey on the rocksJust whiskey served over icerocks glass
Whiskey, upJust whiskey, stirred with ice, then served in a stemmed glasscoupe, nick & nora
Whiskey, with lemonWhiskey served with a lemon wedge on the siderocks glass
Whiskey, with a twistJust whiskey; served with a lemon peel garnishrocks, unless you ask
Whiskey with a _____ chaserWhiskey served with a small shot of your liquid of choicerocks glass
ways to order whiskey

How to order whiskey with water

It’s not that hard. I know you’ve seen advanced whiskey drinkers using a little bottle of mineral water with a pipette like they’re working in a lab, but those guys are no fun at parties. But here’s the question: do you want the whiskey served with water in it? Or do you want water on the side? There’s a difference. First, if you’re a water-already-in-it-gal then trust your bartender and let her add the water. She knows whiskey and she’s been doing this long enough to know exactly how much water to add. However, you can ask for your water on the side so you do it yourself and fuck it all up. Which is cool, that’s how you learn.

So just say “Whiskey with a drop of water,” or “whiskey with water,” or “whiskey with a water back,” or “whiskey with a side of water and ice in a rocks glass.”

How to order whiskey on the rocks

The question isn’t how—that’s easy. You just say it. The question is why. Do you like your whiskey cold? Do you think it will be smoother? Is it how your dad ordered it? Are you in Florida? We’re not judging here. But think about the purpose of ordering bourbon or rye on ice.

When you come to a conclusion and you’re going to order it, then just say “Whiskey on the rocks,” or “Bourbon on the rocks,” or “Rye on the rocks.” You’re bartender’s got you. They know this is how you order whiskey with ice and they won’t fail.